fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
