that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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