And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
BRING THE BAGELS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
