Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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