508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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