I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
