He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
birth control should be required to get into college
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
