I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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