should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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