Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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