..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i was born a porn star she said
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm passing your future prison.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My dad just said "fuck circus"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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