I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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