Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
