After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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