Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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