how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
