Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
