i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
