you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
