is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize