They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
