she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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