You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
