____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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