You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
