I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
