My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize