But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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