I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
