You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
