she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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