piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
