stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
