you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
