My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
