i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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