the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
