arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
