absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
