there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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