so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
