Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
