Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i came on her dog
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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