I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
