I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
