Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
