Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this boner is exhausting
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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