I'm really into asian looking animals
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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