I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
