It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
