Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
