she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
