the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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