That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize