PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
