used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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