Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
